I need answers, people

Here are a few questions I absolutely need answers to...

Why do stores give free shipping only on super expensive orders?? I know, I know it's to get you to spend more but if you are willing to spend that much on shopping why would you care about the extra five bucks for shipping??

What is proper public laundry room etiquette? Can you take people's clothes out of the washer and/or dryer or is that rude? If you take it out of the dryer are you expected to fold it? I barely do my own laundry and im supposed to fold my neighbors undies? That was not in the lease, no siree.

Why can boys just always eat carbs??

What about intelligent life on other planets?

Is it really bad to eat right before bed??

Why do girls think it's "cool" to tell their boyfriends they don't care about things when they are actually really sad about it?

How often should you wash a water bottle you use every day??

Start explaining peeps. To me, you all are experts!

I love my fans!!

i love my fans!! the ones that blow air in my face... summer is near, people!! how are you guys since i ahvent been blogging much?? get a load of this... i dont ahve internet. it has been so great and i dont have to worry about e-mailing people back or checking my facebook. its so nice but i do miss checking in on everyone and seeing how they are. i am at aunt jeans right now. we are having a blast and i never want to leave. but i do love living in the city so it is fun driving in and seeing the skyline and knowing that is where i live. i think the chicago skyline is prettier than any mountains i ahve seen. that shows that i am a city girl at heart. love ya peoples!!
deuces,
carolyn

helloooooooo there

I decided that after I fall in love and that lucky man proposes to me and has a huge rock for me (not really, I dont want a diamond) that I want to elope. I think it would be so fun and I don't want to tell anyone until I am home from Vegas and I think it's a great idea!

I got a new journal so I havent been much into writing on here. My journal is so cool and i am not much of a journaler but i got this One Line A Day journal and it is so awesome. There is space to write one line a day for each day of the year for five years. I am excited this time next year to read my thoughts from today. It will be neat to see how much I have grown and to remember things from the past.  It is only one line so i don't feel intimidated by it. I know the fruit of journaling but it takes so long to write things out.  I have also started a journal writing to my future hubby. It is just prayers that I  have for him. I have always been not a fan of that and more of a fan of living in the moment but it is a good way to speak my desires for my future in a hopeful way. I know God provides for me just what I need each day, and today I do not need a boyfriend (I love living with girls sooo much) and by me writing in this book I am able to be single and love it and know that my future looks bright but so does today (not literally it was so rainy out)...

I realized today on the phone with Julie that I am not much of a giver. I bought a cheap blow dryer while my new really expensive one was in the mail (I dropped mine and it broke so I had to get a new one) and my teacher asked if she could have my cheap one and I said yes and then she asked if she could pay me for it and I said no but I really did want her to... so weird. Anyways to make a short story long I would rather give then receive and I barely feel glad when I do give, I always do it dragging my feet and clenching onto God, trusting I will get something out of it eventually.  Praying that the Lord will change that in me. I want to be a cheerful giver.

I do love giving my opinions though, if that counts for anything!!

i know what you are thinking

you are thinking one of two things.... 1. carolyn, we get it you think you are pretty stop putting pictures of yourself  or 2. carolyn is obsessed with julie burton...

Well cat is out of the bag (whatever that means?? who keeps cats in bags??) i think julie is insane! but i ahve barely met a person who knows her that doesn't think she is extraordinarily special... anyways, look at these hairclips she made me and buy them for yourself on her very own etsy site!!  dude hurry before julie finds out how awesome these are and jacks her prices designer label style...

which clip is your favorite???

(sorry for my closet mess....)

i cant stop thinking of different ways to wear this feather one....

you could be this happy and cute if you have this in your hair.

THESE ARE SOOOO COOL!!

two images that i love... in order of how much i love them~~

My friend Julie is an amazing artist.  I hope that she can find her niche in doing art because she is so good at it and is so patient that I think she would be a great person to do work for people.  Here is something she did for me for a hair styling contest...

it is great and pretty and I love it and this kind of art makes me want to get tattoos :)

I also love this drawing. I found it on a friend's blog and think it is so neat and that is my prayer as well.  I can see myself looking in all directions to be satisfied and find joy and then the Lord taking my eye in His hands and setting it on Him. How beautiful a picture!!

there are also tons more picture I love from when my sister, mom, and henry came to visit. You can find them on my sister's blog!!

also, to be honest. it sounds mean but the weirdest part about leaving college and being graduated is how quickly you forget about people!! this past weekend i was hanging out with some friends who are still at taylor and they were mentioning people that i forgot existed. it just goes to show how quickly our lives pass us by and how little we are in the big scheme... we think we are such a big deal and then we end up not being at all! 

my prayer

this is my prayer right now. so it may be a bit personal but this is my blog so i can do what i want on it :) how i am doing is so clearly reflected through what i am praying. so here it is.

Jesus, thank you for the way that you love me. that your grace is so plentiful and that you delight in giving it. that i shouldnt feel guilty for receiving grace from you, that it doesnt mean that i am using you, it means that you love to be intimate with me and i am so broken so that is the way you can make it owrk.  i want to live in affection for you jesus. i want to pour my heart out for you everyday and in everything that i do. jesus let me do nothing out of selfishness but just out of love for you.  god, my need for you is so great and i cannot get enough of you. you are my best friend and i long for a deeper relationship with you and that i will not confuse what you are saying with my own desires.  i pray for a purity over my relationship iwth you. that i can be honest with myself and others as bad as it makes me look or as silly as i feel.  let me not forget your mercy and let me not forget the secret moments that we have together.  you are good and thank you for the joy that you have been lavishing on me.  thank you for chicago and for brgining me here and providing for me here in every way possible. i want to love you with all that i am. all my heart mind and strength and let you be my purpose for everything. i am yours lord and thank you for loving me first.  that in your love i can begin to love you.  you astonish me. amen

Having my mom and sister here last weekend was great. I miss them so much already and I love how often I get to talk to them. I am so blessed to have a mom and sister that love me and that I love and that I genuinely enjoy being around! I loved seeing Henry too.  Being an aunt is so much better than I ever thought (I hadn't thought much about it ever but it is great)... Pictures coming soooooon

You owe me nothing, I deserve hell, but You've given me mercy!!

I love my roommate, Susan. She is so sweet and so british. I love when we hug and she sneaks in a kiss on the cheek. I want to do that when I hug people because I think it is nice but I am kind of all over the place,  I am scared I would accidentally end up kissing someone on the lips or smoochin someone I shouldn't (like my teacher or boss or something).

She owns a spa and we were just talking about the industry and how we can relate on that level. She was talking about a guy she knows and how he is trying to really remove himself from the world.  I think that is great and I want to be set apart this side of eternity and not partake in a lot of things that are going on in the world because so much is so messed up and perverted (not only in a sexual sense but all kinds of gifts God wants to give us that we abuse and use wrongly).  As she was talking about it she was saying how this guy she knows kind of looks down on her being in the spa setting.  It was so freeing to talk to her about it and how hard it is...  Going throughout each day in the world is hard. I am constantly having to ask the Lord if the things I am saying are pleasing to Him, if I am handling myself in a way that brings Him honor, and that I am always careful about what jokes I laugh at and how I treat the people around me.  Don't get me wrong... I LOVE THE PLACE AND POSITION GOD HAS BROUGHT ME AND I WOULD NOT TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD. I FEEL FREEDOM IN IT AND COMPLETELY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CAN BE MYSELF AND CAN FEEL GOD'S PLEASURE OVER ME IN IT, but it isnt a bed of roses (is that the right saying??). It is hard and at times I don't want to go to school and I just want to hang out with my friends that encourage me and pray for me all the day long, but I am so grateful that God, in His grace and mercy, trusts me with this.  What an honor!

Other than my emergency phone call game (previous blog) I thought of another one... Price is right CALORIES.  It's just like the Price is Right but instead of prices of items it would be calories in foods.  The only thing wrong with this is that no one cares OR people care too much....

That's all I have for now. Love ya, Carolyn (aka Hasbro)

this is just a test

ATTENTION: I am running a test to see who to conact if I am ever in an emergency situation. I am calling everyone in my phonebook and seeing how many seconds each person takes to answer... the quickest to answer is who will win the prize of me calling them if I ever get attacked!!!!!!!!

i love to write on here

I am really starting to love blogging. It's a fun place where I can write what is going on in my life and Julie can read it!! I'm not much of a "journaler" so it really helps me process and think things out.  I like to write a lot and it is fun to look back on things I have been learning.

 Here is a picture of me and some of my friends from hair school... hannah, keiko, and raine

Morgan was in town this weekend and it was so much fun.  She is such a great friend who "gets me" and we have such great conversation.  We don't get to see each other much but when we do it is such quality time.

Also, it was fun to meet up with my hair school friends. Me and Morgan were just being goofballs and laughing so hard with each other.

I am trying to be super obedient in those times when I got out with them, if I should drink at all or what... It has been so great to hear the Lord in it and feel freedom to be myself.  That I don't need to be a nun or perfect by any means, and that I shouldn't want to be holy for their sake... I should want to do it for God and out of affection for Him.

Today is my brother-in-law, Jordan's birthday.  He is such a great brother to me.  I got to know him better this summer when I lived with them and I really appreciate him and having a brother like him.  He always sticks up for me and how I should be treated by boys.  Living with Jordan and Elizabeth this summer was a great experience especially seeing their marriage first hand.  I know this is weird and creepy but I loved when they would argue because it was neat to see how they handled the conflict and would resolve it. You can read more about them on my sister's blog. Hers is among the few blogs that I faithfully follow.

This weekend my mom, sister, and Hank will be here.  I am excited to say the least.... AND SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL MY VISITORS!

I'm convinced that I am the only Christian in the world that wouldn't looooooohoove to pick up and move to Colorado. I don't want to live in the mountains and just hike around all day in a cabin.  I have never been there so maybe I am just misunderstood about it all but it's funny to me how that is like the dream spot, guess I'm just not an outdoorsman...

To prepare everyone for Valentine's Day, this week I am going to run around in a diaper and shoot arrows at people

babies

I don't like when people do photoshoots with babies (or kids) and they have them do things that babies wouldn't normally do.   I think that capturing something sweet in a picture is so great and important and that a picture is worth a thousand words, but it is creepy to pose babies and have them not being their normal baby-self...

For example...

kids in weird outfits kissing

babies in flower pots

kids kissing again

kids dressed like the jersey shore cast (im sure the parents didnt plan this but im also not sure that they didn't!!)

baby in a huge egg shell

ok but this one is awesome...

(Tarry Hall anyone??)

toots

I am getting sick. It stinks.

My head feels like its going to explode and my voice sounds like I am trying so hard to keep all the snot in my nose, which I am! There is a huge snow storm brewing here in Chicago, and Julie is in Charlotte swimming in her pool probably... Though I am excited for it in hopes that school will get canceled, but I was walking home today and got so sad for all the homeless people. And I so badly want to take some home with me to my apartment that could easily sleep 10 people... Ah it is hard just knowing that that isn't the stage of my life where I can do that. I am praying for them though... God, keep the homeless in Chicago close to you in this storm. Let them know that you never fail them!!

So much in my life is changin'.  I am a real grown woman... Facing this snow storm on my own. All my relationships are changing which is hard but good. I am going to a group with a church called The Line on Thursday.  I am excited to just ponder deep things and be asked hard questions. I never realized it but I am such a thinker. I love to think about things especially those that I don't know the answers to. I think that is why I like riddles. I love to think and figure things out.

Pray for me and that I will speak truth to my class. I find myself uttering truths throughout the day and then I will second guess if it is truth. I am confident that it is true for me but I will for a moment be like wait is that true for the people in my class? For example, we were all talking about something that is going on in my life and I said it is so nice knowing God has a plan for our lives, and I was like honestly asking myself, does He have a plan for each of their lives? I know that He does and I am so thankful He is passionate about them and made each of them individually, but it is just hard to remember that God is still God whether we choose to believe it or not. I need the Holy Spirit to remind me that truth is not relative, it's truth!! I don't want to push what I believe on any of them and I have loved my friendships with so many of them.

I entered a hair doing contest on Monday and colored and cut and thermal styled my friend, Val's hair and it was so fun. I am excited to do hair. It literally is a dream job to make people look good and get to hang out and talk with them while it is happening. Joke is on anyone not in cosmetology school.

When my friend Ang came to visit I did her hair in a few updos and took pictures... Here is just one not to overwhelm everyone with her hottness.  You could only wish I would post it right side up... (still learning about computers)

I was taking a nap on the couch earlier while listening to a sermon with my roommate and she farted on my feet. I pretended like I was still sleeping but I was definetly awake for it... but it is ok because Morgan is coming this weekend. Cannot wait!!

my one month anniversary...

Today is my one month anniversary with Chicago. We are soooo in love. haha just kiddin. I don't know what is grosser... That my new favorite thing to eat is pita dipped in peanut butter with chocolate chips too OR that I eat it in my bed.  You know what though? I hate how when I rip off a piece of pita and go to put it in the peanut butter that because the jar isn't full I get peanut butter all over my hands... Could someone please find a solution for that?? First, let's work on solving world hunger and other issues at hand though!! :)

Gosh, is it not crazy how important it is for us to trust the Lord? Something God is recently teaching me is that He never changes and is always faithful to us, so it is just our choice whether we want to live in that confidence or not.  I can go about my life living knowing that God will give me everything He promises and that He is on my side and is fighting for me or I can go about living as if He may not... Either way God will still be faithful and give us what He promises and fight for us!!!  Sounds more fun to me to live knowing He is good.  Sounds like a blast!  A big space shuttle blasting off into space is how found that seems...

If anyone wants to mail me more pita bread and chocolate chips (milk NOT dark) you are more than welcome!!

Don’t you dare think this won’t be the first dance at my wedding…

saturday in the park, i think it was the 4th of july (WELL, get your facts straight!!)

This weekend was awesome. My mom and Julie both came to visit. I love having visitors, it was so fun. I loved my time with both of them and our conversations and everything about it was great.  Julie and I went out with some of my hair school friends Saturday night to a bar.  It was funny and not our scene but I was glad to get to spend time with them. They are such great girls and I have seriously loved getting to know them better.  It is cool how special God made everyone and how He longs to be in relationship with them.  Gosh, I am excited to just see how my relationships with them grow and not even see them saved, but just get to know them as people.  I feel like sometimes we get this mentality (or at least I do) that our purpose in relationships with non-Christians is that they know God. While I think that is so important and is so much of our purpose as mankind... But I think God oftentimes has something different in mind for relationships with people.  That I can see my classmates as people who are worthy and who have so much to offer to me and that I want to know them because they are human beings and created by God, not so they can change.  We can't just go around wishing people were different and wanting to change them (even if it is a great change, like knowing God).  God loves the process of us growing and my prayer is that the girls are growing nearer to the Lord, but I can trust Him with that and just do my best to be myself and love them where they are at! I don't know if that made sense at all but just something stirring in my heart these days, well last few minutes really.

I will see my mom in February (which is nice) and my dad will be in Chicago tomorrow for business so he is taking me out to dinner after I get off work, I am excited for that.  I don't know when I will see Julie again and that makes me want to cry a hot tub for myself then swim in it (not just because I love hot tubs), but I know life must go on and so it is sad but good and exciting the places we have been together and the places we are each going on our own.

us out at dinner. I got the salad bar and ate so much salad because I have barely eaten veggies since I moved here... too expensive :)

me and julie at the bean with the city behind us

I ALSO GAVE JULIE MY FIRST REAL OFFICIAL SEXY PROFESSIONAL TRAINED TECHNICAL SALON HAIRCUT!! It was so fun and I loved doing it and it looked smokin' hot afterwards.  Nothing dramatic just took an inch off but it looked great and healthy after!

ALSO, this weekend was filled with visitors. My friend Scot from high school came with some of his buddies. Me and Julie spent a little bit of time with them. They were funny and really excited to be in Chicago... it's such a fun city!

ta daaaaaaaaaaaa...

MY NEW HOME

Thank God, the saying is "home is where the heart is" and not "home is where the good decorating is..."  My room looks a little lame but I love it and think it is JUST RIGHT!  I have always really been a "more is less" kind of girl when it comes to decorating. I don't like a lot of doo dads and trinkets and as I took these pictures of my room on my phone for your viewing pleasure I realized that my walls are extremely bare.

Sorry, forgot to make my bed this morning.  Most days I make it so that I could bounce a penny off it the sheets are so tight...

Can't quite figure out how to turn this picture so you will have to just turn your heads to see in my closet...

my candle and alarm clock

Speaking of room and such.  The girl who lived in this room before me left her bookcase, bed, a bunch of crumbs on the floor, and a dresser but needs the bed, dresser, and bookcase back starting in March, so I won't have any stuff... Just thought I would get the word out in case you see any in the trash or have excess :)

P.S. I love school and am learning all about hair. Come here now and let me give you a cut!!

alright... you caught me, i miss you

Today is my first cry here. I just got off the phone with my sister and I miss her a lot.

I miss my friends too.

And people that I really love and care about.  Something just feels right about spending time with people you really love.

I have loved hair school and meeting new people and working and know that it is right that I am here for now. But it just feels good to cry my little eyes out and miss my peeps.  I am about to go to church with a friend though so it will be good to wipe my face and get off my tush.

I also think I am about to start my period so that's nice that I can blame it on that...  I think what triggered it all is I didn't sign a lease for my apartment and now it turns out that I have to and so that just makes it feel so much more permanent.  The fact that I might stay in Chicago after hair school made me weep! Hahaa I guess I just hadn't thought much about it.  But I know if that is what God wants it will be great...

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot I wanted to tell you guys... I just put a new battery in my electric toothbrush and man that kitty can purr!!

power

Recently I have been praying that the Lord would show me His power.  At times this is a scary prayer because who knows how He will answer it! God is soo powerful and especially reading the Old Testament, whew... scary stuff (but I love how I can trust Him with His power and sovereignty).  It is so cool then to see the power of God portrayed in Jesus in the New Testament performing miracles and loving people powerfully. 

The past few months as I have been praying this, nothing crazy has happened BUT today I was reading in Isaiah and came upon this little versey verse.  I love how it speaks of God's power.

Isaiah 45:7
I create the light and make the darkness.  I bring prosperity and create disaster.  I, the Lord, am the one who does these things.

Also, thanks to the movie "Taken" I now shout out everything I see and hear when I am on the phone... for safety of course!

just a thought...

If I had one wish it would be that when I go home or back to visit Taylor, I would weigh three hundred pounds and be trying to fit in all my old clothes acting like nothing changed!!!!!

If someone honestly gave me one wish that would for sure come true, this is not what I would choose... it would be more along the lines of people's basic needs being met, or seeing people freed from sin, or orphans knowing they are loved, or prisoners being changed and learning not just sitting in cells... but since there is no genie to grant me a real wish, I can pray for those things... and wish to be huge when my friends see me next!

new years resolutions

This seems to be the hot topic amoung people these days... I like setting goals and I always want to challenge myself to be grow and do better things, but I also think if you know you are doing something wrong you should fix it right then.  Not wait for a new year.  Gosh, I should be a motivational speaker.  haha kiddin, everyone would be like, "She is so rude." But I really do think it is too easy to sit around and wait to change instead of just doing it.

Ok, but anyways here are some of my resolutions...
A#1 A1 steak sauce (this one was a joke) ok here we go...
1. Eat healthier...
2. Not think of myself so much and put other's interests before mine
3. Be thankful and not complain about anything!
4. To get my face on the fountain at Millenium Park

I am not much of a list girl so that is all I could come up with for now... 
Since being in Chicago I have really liked it.  It is fun to be on my own and although I miss my sister and parents and friends it has been great.  My new biggest city fear is that someone will push me on the train tracks while I am waiting for the train. It's so windy here!! I have loved being in a place where I don't feel safe because it keeps me constantly crying out for God.  So many times I have lived in a way that I am not in need of God and so this has been a great change!  Geesh, I want God to use me so much here.  It has been hard being in hair school and meeting new people and wanting them to know God but just not knowing my place in that.  I was reminded today that I want to live for eternity alone and not this life.  Recently God has taught me that it is about Him moving, not me seeing it.  I want to be ok with that that...  That I trust God is doing things and using me because I am seeking Him, and not having to have proof of it. 

I am overwhelmed by the thought that the Lord has always loved me perfectly. 

Other things I like about Chicago:
-Dunkin Donuts everywhere
-my room setup and my bed sheets (soo comfy)
-pizza
-hanging out with my great aunt jean
-my winter boots
-house warming gifts... thanks peeps!!
-going to cosmetology school
-my roommates
-public transportation

Since starting this post I have eaten two cookies and some rice krispies.  Looks like I'll be starting on my resolutions tomorrow.

Morgan and I taking a "bean" picture last year...

pretty city pic (morgan took these... she's hot behind the lense)

I can't wait for people to jump in front of my face like that***!!

****(see New Years resolution #4)