two images that i love... in order of how much i love them~~

My friend Julie is an amazing artist.  I hope that she can find her niche in doing art because she is so good at it and is so patient that I think she would be a great person to do work for people.  Here is something she did for me for a hair styling contest...

it is great and pretty and I love it and this kind of art makes me want to get tattoos :)

I also love this drawing. I found it on a friend's blog and think it is so neat and that is my prayer as well.  I can see myself looking in all directions to be satisfied and find joy and then the Lord taking my eye in His hands and setting it on Him. How beautiful a picture!!

there are also tons more picture I love from when my sister, mom, and henry came to visit. You can find them on my sister's blog!!

also, to be honest. it sounds mean but the weirdest part about leaving college and being graduated is how quickly you forget about people!! this past weekend i was hanging out with some friends who are still at taylor and they were mentioning people that i forgot existed. it just goes to show how quickly our lives pass us by and how little we are in the big scheme... we think we are such a big deal and then we end up not being at all! 

my prayer

this is my prayer right now. so it may be a bit personal but this is my blog so i can do what i want on it :) how i am doing is so clearly reflected through what i am praying. so here it is.

Jesus, thank you for the way that you love me. that your grace is so plentiful and that you delight in giving it. that i shouldnt feel guilty for receiving grace from you, that it doesnt mean that i am using you, it means that you love to be intimate with me and i am so broken so that is the way you can make it owrk.  i want to live in affection for you jesus. i want to pour my heart out for you everyday and in everything that i do. jesus let me do nothing out of selfishness but just out of love for you.  god, my need for you is so great and i cannot get enough of you. you are my best friend and i long for a deeper relationship with you and that i will not confuse what you are saying with my own desires.  i pray for a purity over my relationship iwth you. that i can be honest with myself and others as bad as it makes me look or as silly as i feel.  let me not forget your mercy and let me not forget the secret moments that we have together.  you are good and thank you for the joy that you have been lavishing on me.  thank you for chicago and for brgining me here and providing for me here in every way possible. i want to love you with all that i am. all my heart mind and strength and let you be my purpose for everything. i am yours lord and thank you for loving me first.  that in your love i can begin to love you.  you astonish me. amen

Having my mom and sister here last weekend was great. I miss them so much already and I love how often I get to talk to them. I am so blessed to have a mom and sister that love me and that I love and that I genuinely enjoy being around! I loved seeing Henry too.  Being an aunt is so much better than I ever thought (I hadn't thought much about it ever but it is great)... Pictures coming soooooon

You owe me nothing, I deserve hell, but You've given me mercy!!

I love my roommate, Susan. She is so sweet and so british. I love when we hug and she sneaks in a kiss on the cheek. I want to do that when I hug people because I think it is nice but I am kind of all over the place,  I am scared I would accidentally end up kissing someone on the lips or smoochin someone I shouldn't (like my teacher or boss or something).

She owns a spa and we were just talking about the industry and how we can relate on that level. She was talking about a guy she knows and how he is trying to really remove himself from the world.  I think that is great and I want to be set apart this side of eternity and not partake in a lot of things that are going on in the world because so much is so messed up and perverted (not only in a sexual sense but all kinds of gifts God wants to give us that we abuse and use wrongly).  As she was talking about it she was saying how this guy she knows kind of looks down on her being in the spa setting.  It was so freeing to talk to her about it and how hard it is...  Going throughout each day in the world is hard. I am constantly having to ask the Lord if the things I am saying are pleasing to Him, if I am handling myself in a way that brings Him honor, and that I am always careful about what jokes I laugh at and how I treat the people around me.  Don't get me wrong... I LOVE THE PLACE AND POSITION GOD HAS BROUGHT ME AND I WOULD NOT TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD. I FEEL FREEDOM IN IT AND COMPLETELY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CAN BE MYSELF AND CAN FEEL GOD'S PLEASURE OVER ME IN IT, but it isnt a bed of roses (is that the right saying??). It is hard and at times I don't want to go to school and I just want to hang out with my friends that encourage me and pray for me all the day long, but I am so grateful that God, in His grace and mercy, trusts me with this.  What an honor!

Other than my emergency phone call game (previous blog) I thought of another one... Price is right CALORIES.  It's just like the Price is Right but instead of prices of items it would be calories in foods.  The only thing wrong with this is that no one cares OR people care too much....

That's all I have for now. Love ya, Carolyn (aka Hasbro)

this is just a test

ATTENTION: I am running a test to see who to conact if I am ever in an emergency situation. I am calling everyone in my phonebook and seeing how many seconds each person takes to answer... the quickest to answer is who will win the prize of me calling them if I ever get attacked!!!!!!!!

i love to write on here

I am really starting to love blogging. It's a fun place where I can write what is going on in my life and Julie can read it!! I'm not much of a "journaler" so it really helps me process and think things out.  I like to write a lot and it is fun to look back on things I have been learning.

 Here is a picture of me and some of my friends from hair school... hannah, keiko, and raine

Morgan was in town this weekend and it was so much fun.  She is such a great friend who "gets me" and we have such great conversation.  We don't get to see each other much but when we do it is such quality time.

Also, it was fun to meet up with my hair school friends. Me and Morgan were just being goofballs and laughing so hard with each other.

I am trying to be super obedient in those times when I got out with them, if I should drink at all or what... It has been so great to hear the Lord in it and feel freedom to be myself.  That I don't need to be a nun or perfect by any means, and that I shouldn't want to be holy for their sake... I should want to do it for God and out of affection for Him.

Today is my brother-in-law, Jordan's birthday.  He is such a great brother to me.  I got to know him better this summer when I lived with them and I really appreciate him and having a brother like him.  He always sticks up for me and how I should be treated by boys.  Living with Jordan and Elizabeth this summer was a great experience especially seeing their marriage first hand.  I know this is weird and creepy but I loved when they would argue because it was neat to see how they handled the conflict and would resolve it. You can read more about them on my sister's blog. Hers is among the few blogs that I faithfully follow.

This weekend my mom, sister, and Hank will be here.  I am excited to say the least.... AND SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL MY VISITORS!

I'm convinced that I am the only Christian in the world that wouldn't looooooohoove to pick up and move to Colorado. I don't want to live in the mountains and just hike around all day in a cabin.  I have never been there so maybe I am just misunderstood about it all but it's funny to me how that is like the dream spot, guess I'm just not an outdoorsman...

To prepare everyone for Valentine's Day, this week I am going to run around in a diaper and shoot arrows at people

babies

I don't like when people do photoshoots with babies (or kids) and they have them do things that babies wouldn't normally do.   I think that capturing something sweet in a picture is so great and important and that a picture is worth a thousand words, but it is creepy to pose babies and have them not being their normal baby-self...

For example...

kids in weird outfits kissing

babies in flower pots

kids kissing again

kids dressed like the jersey shore cast (im sure the parents didnt plan this but im also not sure that they didn't!!)

baby in a huge egg shell

ok but this one is awesome...

(Tarry Hall anyone??)

toots

I am getting sick. It stinks.

My head feels like its going to explode and my voice sounds like I am trying so hard to keep all the snot in my nose, which I am! There is a huge snow storm brewing here in Chicago, and Julie is in Charlotte swimming in her pool probably... Though I am excited for it in hopes that school will get canceled, but I was walking home today and got so sad for all the homeless people. And I so badly want to take some home with me to my apartment that could easily sleep 10 people... Ah it is hard just knowing that that isn't the stage of my life where I can do that. I am praying for them though... God, keep the homeless in Chicago close to you in this storm. Let them know that you never fail them!!

So much in my life is changin'.  I am a real grown woman... Facing this snow storm on my own. All my relationships are changing which is hard but good. I am going to a group with a church called The Line on Thursday.  I am excited to just ponder deep things and be asked hard questions. I never realized it but I am such a thinker. I love to think about things especially those that I don't know the answers to. I think that is why I like riddles. I love to think and figure things out.

Pray for me and that I will speak truth to my class. I find myself uttering truths throughout the day and then I will second guess if it is truth. I am confident that it is true for me but I will for a moment be like wait is that true for the people in my class? For example, we were all talking about something that is going on in my life and I said it is so nice knowing God has a plan for our lives, and I was like honestly asking myself, does He have a plan for each of their lives? I know that He does and I am so thankful He is passionate about them and made each of them individually, but it is just hard to remember that God is still God whether we choose to believe it or not. I need the Holy Spirit to remind me that truth is not relative, it's truth!! I don't want to push what I believe on any of them and I have loved my friendships with so many of them.

I entered a hair doing contest on Monday and colored and cut and thermal styled my friend, Val's hair and it was so fun. I am excited to do hair. It literally is a dream job to make people look good and get to hang out and talk with them while it is happening. Joke is on anyone not in cosmetology school.

When my friend Ang came to visit I did her hair in a few updos and took pictures... Here is just one not to overwhelm everyone with her hottness.  You could only wish I would post it right side up... (still learning about computers)

I was taking a nap on the couch earlier while listening to a sermon with my roommate and she farted on my feet. I pretended like I was still sleeping but I was definetly awake for it... but it is ok because Morgan is coming this weekend. Cannot wait!!