alright... you caught me, i miss you

Today is my first cry here. I just got off the phone with my sister and I miss her a lot.

I miss my friends too.

And people that I really love and care about.  Something just feels right about spending time with people you really love.

I have loved hair school and meeting new people and working and know that it is right that I am here for now. But it just feels good to cry my little eyes out and miss my peeps.  I am about to go to church with a friend though so it will be good to wipe my face and get off my tush.

I also think I am about to start my period so that's nice that I can blame it on that...  I think what triggered it all is I didn't sign a lease for my apartment and now it turns out that I have to and so that just makes it feel so much more permanent.  The fact that I might stay in Chicago after hair school made me weep! Hahaa I guess I just hadn't thought much about it.  But I know if that is what God wants it will be great...

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot I wanted to tell you guys... I just put a new battery in my electric toothbrush and man that kitty can purr!!

power

Recently I have been praying that the Lord would show me His power.  At times this is a scary prayer because who knows how He will answer it! God is soo powerful and especially reading the Old Testament, whew... scary stuff (but I love how I can trust Him with His power and sovereignty).  It is so cool then to see the power of God portrayed in Jesus in the New Testament performing miracles and loving people powerfully. 

The past few months as I have been praying this, nothing crazy has happened BUT today I was reading in Isaiah and came upon this little versey verse.  I love how it speaks of God's power.

Isaiah 45:7
I create the light and make the darkness.  I bring prosperity and create disaster.  I, the Lord, am the one who does these things.

Also, thanks to the movie "Taken" I now shout out everything I see and hear when I am on the phone... for safety of course!

just a thought...

If I had one wish it would be that when I go home or back to visit Taylor, I would weigh three hundred pounds and be trying to fit in all my old clothes acting like nothing changed!!!!!

If someone honestly gave me one wish that would for sure come true, this is not what I would choose... it would be more along the lines of people's basic needs being met, or seeing people freed from sin, or orphans knowing they are loved, or prisoners being changed and learning not just sitting in cells... but since there is no genie to grant me a real wish, I can pray for those things... and wish to be huge when my friends see me next!

new years resolutions

This seems to be the hot topic amoung people these days... I like setting goals and I always want to challenge myself to be grow and do better things, but I also think if you know you are doing something wrong you should fix it right then.  Not wait for a new year.  Gosh, I should be a motivational speaker.  haha kiddin, everyone would be like, "She is so rude." But I really do think it is too easy to sit around and wait to change instead of just doing it.

Ok, but anyways here are some of my resolutions...
A#1 A1 steak sauce (this one was a joke) ok here we go...
1. Eat healthier...
2. Not think of myself so much and put other's interests before mine
3. Be thankful and not complain about anything!
4. To get my face on the fountain at Millenium Park

I am not much of a list girl so that is all I could come up with for now... 
Since being in Chicago I have really liked it.  It is fun to be on my own and although I miss my sister and parents and friends it has been great.  My new biggest city fear is that someone will push me on the train tracks while I am waiting for the train. It's so windy here!! I have loved being in a place where I don't feel safe because it keeps me constantly crying out for God.  So many times I have lived in a way that I am not in need of God and so this has been a great change!  Geesh, I want God to use me so much here.  It has been hard being in hair school and meeting new people and wanting them to know God but just not knowing my place in that.  I was reminded today that I want to live for eternity alone and not this life.  Recently God has taught me that it is about Him moving, not me seeing it.  I want to be ok with that that...  That I trust God is doing things and using me because I am seeking Him, and not having to have proof of it. 

I am overwhelmed by the thought that the Lord has always loved me perfectly. 

Other things I like about Chicago:
-Dunkin Donuts everywhere
-my room setup and my bed sheets (soo comfy)
-pizza
-hanging out with my great aunt jean
-my winter boots
-house warming gifts... thanks peeps!!
-going to cosmetology school
-my roommates
-public transportation

Since starting this post I have eaten two cookies and some rice krispies.  Looks like I'll be starting on my resolutions tomorrow.

Morgan and I taking a "bean" picture last year...

pretty city pic (morgan took these... she's hot behind the lense)

I can't wait for people to jump in front of my face like that***!!

****(see New Years resolution #4)

new and improved

I love my new blog layout.  My greatest pal Julie did the design at the top and I absolutely adore it.  It is so fun.  Julie is so cute and texted me saying is it ok it says Coochie. I said it is absolutely ok!! For those of you that don't know me as "Coochie" it is what my dad (and now many others) has called me since I was a little girl and I love it.  I think it is such a sweet nickname and I know that it can be slang for a lady part, I love nicknames and Coochie is one I have certainly grown fond of!

It is about time I dedicated a post to Julie.  She is such a great friend of mine.  I learn so much from her and her humble heart and the way she loves people.  She is filled with so much grace and I don't know that I will ever live with someone who shows me as much grace as Julie has.  She would wake me so many mornings as my alarm clock would blare.  She is so sweet and I am excited for her as she graduates college.  A funny story about Julie is when we were freshman at Taylor she hated conflict so much that once she cried into her closet and another time I found her under the bathroom sink (in our community bathroom) sobbing her little eyes out.  This is funny to talk about now because she has come so far in dealing with conflict and now she has so much boldness she has no problem calling me out!!

Julie, I, and some donuts our freshman year... (not the day she was crying her brains out!!)

Also, my blog isn't all that has been changing.  Since Christmas I have moved to Chicago and started Cosmetology School.  Two things that I love so far.  I hope that I never get sick of either.  I want to live my life in such a way that I love where I am and never get sick of it.  It is so easy to complain or get bored in our day to day but when we love the moment we are in it can transform the way we see our day.  I need to go to bed because the night hours seem to fly by and I don't want to be yawning the day away tomorrow...  But I will blog soon and fill you in on my adventures :)

stress

Something that stresses me out... 

I am a very deep sleeper and can sleep through anything and so many times I won't hear my alarmS in the morning.  When this happens I tend to have such a bad day.  I start out rushed and have such a hard time just being ok with it.  One time I set my alarm for 9 o'clock in the morning and didn't end up hearing it until 4 that evening. I remember just crying because I felt as though without choosing, I had wasted a whole day of my life.

I oftentimes used to fear going to sleep not knowing when/if I would wake up (dramatic, but it was a real problem for me..).  It brings me so much joy that I don't have to fear anything and that I can trust the Lord to wake me... Not that I should go to bed really late and just hope that I hear my alarm, but that I can trust Him with each of my days.  One of my favorite verses is in Isaiah 50 and it really helped me to trust God about my sleeping.  When I read it for the first time I felt like God was speaking this verse as a promise to me so it is really special to me...

 ⁴The Lord GOD has given me
   the tongue of those who are taught,
that I may know how to sustain with a word
   him who is weary.
Morning by morning he awakens;
   he awakens my ear
   to hear as those who are taught.
⁵ The Lord GOD has opened my ear,
   and I was not rebellious;
   I turned not backward.


...I also get stressed out when I don't get my way :)

picture of my family and PETS!!

MY FAMILY... I AM SO PROUD OF THEM AND THIS PICTURE OF US

 

just kidding... that is not us.

here is my real family..

this is my favorite family portrait because to my left (your right) there is one of my ex-boyfriends cropped out. I think it is funny how perfect the crop is that you cannot even tell!!

I am also supposed to write about my pets.  I currently have no pets but I would like to highlight a few that I have had in the past...



R.I.P. Bulgy (fish), Hoppy (rabbit), Floppy (dog), Dude (dog), I also had some hermit crabs I can't remember their names though...